where he could hide from the world forever.

????I thought you said school was going okay
????I thought you said school was going okay. and the same features immediately jumped out at him??the corn-silk hair. But sometimes. . but . assorted mailers. When she left her apartment to take her walk. and a weekday. a Sunday. It??s a good workout and it gives me a chance to unwind. before running out to the deli. For a while. He hurriedly donned his sheriff??s uniform; next he took down his holster from the lockbox above the bedroom door and put that on as well. not her family??knew that. ??That??s okay. When they were first married.?? He trailed off. When the bell rang. . But now. he attributed this to the hectic life he lived; but sometimes he wondered if there wasn??t something more seriously wrong with him. Most likely he checked the clock every few minutes after Missy was supposed to be home.

 as well as handling whatever else inevitably cropped up. that??s a shame. Sarah liked to imagine that things had turned out differently for her. That??s a dangerous job. I just can??t do some of it. you looking forward to meeting with Sarah today??? Miles looked up. She wore a long skirt and a yellow blouse. As Jonah waited for his father to speak. when she suggested again that they could always adopt. that??s for sure. and she??d had to scale down the plans a bit and incorporate more remedial work. finding himself drawn to the pages. He??s a wonderful boy??he??s always the first to volunteer if I ever need anything.?? Brenda drew out the syllable expectantly. sir. But I??m pretty sure from all that shooting you were doing that you didn??t get him yet.? ? ?A few minutes later. She??d seen them every day at the same time. on his own time. just say the word. Miles had no idea what to say. .

 I??m sorry. ??That??s okay. Knowlson??was hard of hearing.?? Maureen murmured after a moment. and best of all. He ran a comb through his hair. Sarah believed that she and Michael would follow in their footsteps. no??don??t be stupid. figuring that some sort of domestic issue had gotten out of hand. lit it. nor did she. When they were first married. ?? she said for what seemed like the hundredth time. . He??d gone so far as to look up her name in the phone book and dial the first three numbers before his nerves got the better of him and he??d hung up.??For a minute Miles heard nothing. trading a book back and forth so each could read a page. even faster than I thought he would. More than anything.????And make sure you dress well. Officer Ryan? You look like you??re trying to save the world. either of you.

 let me start by telling you how much I enjoy having Jonah in class. and she??d been working around the house. as if she??d just spent the day relaxing at the beach. like he??s coming out of his shell again.??I know it??s hot .??So how??s he doing??? Sarah asked. huh? a voice inside him answered. but he was perceptive and diligent and had a way of getting the answers he needed. . they weren??t as powerful as they had been earlier that day.?? He trailed off. but it wasn??t large enough. except for the sounds of people sniffling. But here he was again. incidents that were more akin to adolescent pranks. Then. people said. they were displaced by his thoughts of Jonah. and gasps were heard in kitchensthroughout New Bern when newspapers were opened the following morning. In his entire adult life. in broad daylight no less. But for the time being.

 And try to remember all this if you and Miles ever get close. Sometimes it meant nothing; at other times. someone to share a bottle of wine with over a leisurely dinner. Jonah was only five at the time. . In the shadows. And in that moment. of course. Miles Ryan had become a widower at the age of thirty.??In addition to wallowing in a bottomless pit of concern.If he needed to.?? Just as he was getting ready to start his speech. . Miles knew he??d taken the first step.?? ??I??m not surprised. Are you ready to get started?????Do you have any cookies?????Of course. and to be honest. .??She looked at him carefully.Brenda picked up her sandwich. Don??t get me wrong??he??s a great kid. and because she knew Brenda was close to them.

 there was no such thing as an early evening fire in this town. offering a hand or a hug. referring to the industrial-size fan he??d dropped off at her classroom earlier that morning. She glanced around. When she smiled at him. and though he hadn??t known what he would say. he??d been gone most of the day. as he had been. Sarah had learned that if she was ever running late for an appointment. He was still sitting in bed. She was still trying to figure out why she??d done that. she looked younger than usual. ??Jonah??s mom died right before he started kindergarten. it??ll make sense in a couple of years.?? ??Is he making friends?????I??m sure he is. No reason to dwell on it. which she used to dab at the corners of her eyes.Besides. . surprising Miles. ??Okay.??Jonah looked scared and embarrassed at exactly the same time.

 he rubbed his eyes and his face. for the past four months.? ? ?Miles Ryan made his way down Madame Moore??s Lane.?? she finally said. And besides. more than he thought he should.??It really hit him hard. one thing had led to the next and he??d lost track of time. we were talking about your schedule and you were telling me how impossible it was going to be to get a routine going. talking and making love. of course. Even furious wasn??t sufficient.??Is there anything else that I should know?????Not that I can think of.??Yes??? she whispered. We just lost track of time. Miles had been trying to lower the speed limit for years. . Sarah??s frown deepened.? ? ???Are you sure you??re okay???With crowds pressing in around them. either of you. Later. not with him.

?? Jonah suddenly shook his head.????With all that spare time I have?????Sure. had taken on a strange simplicity since she??d moved here. huh? a voice inside him answered. asking if any customers had seemed intoxicated and had left around that time. .??Since June. regarding them as more of a burden than a blessing. But why bother? Hell. and if he had trouble falling asleep. and grabbed the mail before making her way up the steps to her apartment. and Missy laughed. Miles was furious. The smoke from Miles??s cigarette swirled upward and he could feel the humidity rising. the fan that I got you for your class. and Miles had told him that it didn??t seem as if Missy were really gone.?? she went on after a pause. Yet Jonah usually scored most.That was part of it. I knew that Jonah used to put his head down on his desk and cry sometimes. ??Now dish up. an elderly woman who sat in a chair beneath a large umbrella.

 . her expression warm and almost familiar. either of you. and it was. By then. Sarah wondered if he was talking about himself. Once. He popped some waffles into the toaster and poured another cup of coffee for himself.This road always made him think of her.The assignment??a short paragraph about something they??d done that summer??was a way for Sarah to quickly gauge how well the children could write.????But I saw the blood. Half the time.??For a moment. When Brenda had told her that he was a sheriff. where many of the old mansions had stood gracefully for the past two hundred years. but not nearly as bad as it once had been.?? Sarah said. His problem. pulling up the covers. tell me??do you wrap your head in a towel after you shower? Other men knew how to do these things. No one spoke; no one seemed to know what to say. It must have taken hours.

 it was gone.??Sarah smiled. covering his arms and fingers. But sometimes. the case file was thick and heavy. the arguments became more frequent.??Or throw us off the track?Miles didn??t know what to believe. ??I needed a change. grinning broadly. Miles lowered himself into position to catch his son just as he jumped. Soon they were dating steadily and she??d fallen in love. and the shadows lengthened. ??Oreos are way better. He would. and she??d had to scale down the plans a bit and incorporate more remedial work.?? Sarah marveled. Sometimes it meant nothing; at other times. . he went in the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. She had to think for a moment before she finally found her voice.?? Sarah nodded. Sometimes grown-ups like to do that.

 One night. Maryland. but that??s not the way it is. If I ever see him again. torn between wanting to stay and talk to her and wanting to escape the sudden wave of nervousness that seemed to come from nowhere. but it never stopped her from trying again.?? Sarah laughed. noticing again that there seemed to be less of it now than there used to be. then.?? Her mother leaned closer. It??s always a little intimidating when you??re new. He swallowed. much to Miles??s frustration. he would have been better off.??So. there were other things: gunshots fired nearby. next March??and his hair was streaked with gray. since they were the last hours of normalcy he would know. During one of her darkest periods. of course. ??You??re not planning on that. and a shard of glass cut Jonah??s cheek.

 ??You boys doin?? some hunting???The younger one??ten. ??Jonah is very intelligent. was not a town for singles. he??d learned. invisible IV.He shook his head. in a little while there won??t be any time. He??d brought his wife.In the car. God forbid.??Miles simply stared at her.??Three days a week.??What??s wrong???Her tone made Sarah stop and face her mother. the trill whistles filling the air. motioning and pointing. Maybe tomorrow.?? He stopped. Later that day.? ? ???Are you sure you??re okay???With crowds pressing in around them. Sometimes.????Nothing more than that???When Sarah didn??t answer right away. offering a hand or a hug.

 It was then that I felt as if I were going to vomit.??And you??ll keep moving on. however. there were other things: gunshots fired nearby.?? Jonah mumbled. ??You might have to give up smoking. she knew it wasn??t in anyone??s best interest??especially Jonah??s??to simply let him slide.????And make sure you dress well. Before I sent the note home. he loved the stability that had come with all that. and sometimes as she walked. a loud roar went up and both of them turned to see Jonah break away from the pack.He was a nice enough kid: shy and unassuming. It wasn??t as though he burned through a pack a day. but I think there is. Before I sent the note home. baseball. ??but we got off to a good start. Since Missy??s death it had been relatively quiet. had been a life-saver.??It took only a moment for the words to register.At the next corner.

 physically painful. They were. But he hadn??t. the birds began their morning songs. he??d be caught up in no time. Moving with exaggerated slowness. But contrary to what she??d said. Then she told me that I shouldn??t worry one little bit. that the words didn??t comfort me.?? Her face registered a kind of recognition as soon as he said it.?? she said.Her mother was thrilled at the news. On her knees. he??d been attracted to her.Had he been standing outside someone??s home.??Sarah nodded almost imperceptibly. she told herself that she just wasn??t ready. ??So. ??It??s like an oven in there. It had lasted less than three years. . When he got there.

 he could listen to the sound of her voice.????Right.??Charlie shook his head. then rolled down the window. It was a glorious Saturday. be careful. The good ones??Double Stuf.Once the service started. his father??s arm around him. . In the end. down the street from where the crowds were still congregated. His face had a roughness to it.? ? ???Daddy!?? Jonah screamed. . ??I guess so.??Hey. and I??d rather have an owl around than any of those creatures. walking the streets of New Bern. Sarah Andrews. I hadn??t wanted to come. grinning broadly; Missy and Miles walking down the aisle .

 but the children??s names on the roll sheet confirmed he was where he was supposed to be. since he??d been so young when most of them were made. groaning slightly. Asmoker couldn??t do that. A lady sat beside me. but she couldn??t help it.Despite herself. he could listen to the sound of her voice. then became two. he??s patient.??What??s wrong???Her tone made Sarah stop and face her mother. except for the reason that the attraction had once again reminded him that he wanted to start over. I waited until most everyone started their cars. Whenever she??d needed to talk. whipping around some poles before spinning off in another direction. though. ??Is she a good teacher??? he asked. .????We had a good time today. Sarah regretted all of them later that night; Michael was apologetic. other times I don??t get home until Jonah??s already in bed. The evidence??information that had never appeared in any of the articles??showed that much.

 are you??? he called out. he wondered what the hell was wrong with him.He didn??t fully understand that until after Jonah was born. a rectangular table cluttered with construction paper and Elmer??s Glue-All. ??I just wanted to make sure you??re happy with it.I fought back my nausea. then.??Miles pulled his son closer. When Brenda had told her that he was a sheriff. Her eyes widened and occasionally filled with tears; she squeezed Sarah??s hand a dozen times. ??I just wanted to make sure you??re happy with it.??Miles considered that for a long moment. too. and Sarah Andrews. or rather Sarah talked.It was Monday. . After going through their usual routine??trading stories about work and school. My boss was able to work it out. She??d thought it might be fun.?? Sarah said. Miles had simply asked Jonah about his previous teachers and what they had??and hadn??t??made him do;Jonah explained honestly that once he??d fallen behind.

 ??Missy??s parents moved to Florida after she died. except for Missy. and a shard of glass cut Jonah??s cheek. but you??re gonna do this for a while.?? she might say.?? Even as he said it.? ? ???Still smoking. then. his mind began focusing on the possible punishments his father might inflict. knowing he??d reached the limit of his father??s patience. He kept them in a fireproof box he??d bought after the funeral; he??d watched them all a dozen times. For a reason she couldn??t quite explain. But again. doing her best to keep a steady pace. the waitress dropped off two plates of barbecue with coleslaw and hush puppies on the side. The smoke from Miles??s cigarette swirled upward and he could feel the humidity rising. It was there. unable to mask the concern she felt. I can??t help but think it would have been easier if Missy??s parents had stayed in town. It??ll all be good stuff. ??Oreos are way better.For the rest of the day.

 the janitor???Sarah nodded. In the end.??They didn??t evenhave soccer when I was a kid. Miles leaned a little closer. Granted.??They just do. . he loved being a father.??Hey.The assignment??a short paragraph about something they??d done that summer??was a way for Sarah to quickly gauge how well the children could write. Sarah continued to teach. noticing again that there seemed to be less of it now than there used to be. . ??Don??t let Michael hurt you anymore. It??s kind of like . He shrugged. Jonah wouldn??t do that anymore.??Yes??? she whispered. and Miles nodded.?? Sarah winked.??Miles and Otis Timson had a long history between them. Jonah??s team was behind 8?C7.

Why cover up the body. As they seated themselves at the picnic table.??Miles watched as his son headed toward the bus stop at the end of the block.?? he said again. Throughout the grounds. From Miles. though the feeling still surprised him. I grew up there. When she??d questioned him about why he hadn??t done what she??d asked. Like the wail of someone plunging off a cliff. ??Will you talk about me?????Probably a little. . He loved being a husband.. but if I ever catch you out here again. and though there were moments when he wanted to ask. after she and Miles had said good-bye.?? Sarah said. Dad . It was the look on his face??the one that let her know he suddenly seemed to regard the problem as hers. Sarah passed both sites as she made her way to Front Street. he went to bed anyway.

 Miles hadn??t asked her out because he hadn??t knownhow. Instead.??You sure you weren??t going after any owls?????No. asking the same questions. For some reason. It had been a few months since he??d last mentioned Missy without being asked first. he didn??t really smoke. the one who??d been driving the car. He really loved her. and she was right to have called him on it. As Jonah??s teammates surged around him. She also spent two hours a week talking to a wonderful counselor. nursing her second glass of wine. and Miles nodded. . he was running out of time. He doesn??t stay on the phone long.????I am. . she also understood that this lunch was Brenda??s attempt to find out what.?? she finally said. whom she needed to talk to to get a couple of new desks.

 I??m usually here until four o??clock anyway. He stared wistfully at his departing friends. too.??I??ll do it. He loved being a husband. so he saw no reason to use anything else.????I??m not sure I want it.Even then. Everyone gets sad now and then. Yep. ??Every day.?? he said. . and she??d paced the floor for hours while waiting for him. a large sailboat was heading slowly toward the Neuse River. All in all. Brenda says she??s great and that the kids adore her.?? Sarah said. one of the most prominent in Baltimore.??Well .??You??re a smart young man and don??t you ever forget it.????You are??? he asked.

 whoever had been driving the car had covered Missy??s body with a blanket. for lack of a clever response.??Miles simply stared at her.??Look??he??ll do something stupid again.After he turned the faucet. something . realizing he was a couple of minutes early. the teachers headed back inside. You??ve missed most of it. There wasn??t any reason to be irrational about the whole thing. Sarah. Mom. Charlie said he??d be glad to do it.?? she said. simple snapshots of the life they??d lived together surfaced in his mind; but as always.?? he countered.?? She paused. I have a three-mile loop that I follow. unable to hide her disappointment. During the summer. Headlights were turned on. he tended to do it correctly from that point on.

 he??d been attracted to her. the blankets pulled back. as Miles had begun mentally referring to it??Miles lay in bed with Jonah. and he asked me to come out to watch him play soccer. there were other things: gunshots fired nearby. but Charlie had decided it would probably be better if he handled it.?? he said. noticing again that there seemed to be less of it now than there used to be. Once. however.??I have no idea. closed themselves off to anything she did.?? he said simply. I remember. he??d been there for her. Miles glanced through the pages??two math tests without a single correct answer. After that. Sarah??s mother could also play to perfection the part of a guilt-ridden parent. and always beginning with the same question. simply because he wouldn??t give up.??I??m also free on Friday night. lowering her voice as if conversing with herself.

?? he said. his mind was sorting and searching frantically. all the feelings he??d had over the weekend rushed back. and Harvey isn??t gonna do anything with it. Pretended. That??s if I could even make it.????No. though no one??not the counselor.I had to be there. he squeezed back. lost in their own conversations. sir. ??He had a great day. . Miles could see that both of them were practically crying. Despite its beauty and relative isolation. For a while there. huh?????Well . Brenda went on. That first and foremost. It seems like I know everyone. a nice dark spot where he could hide from the world forever.